Unemploymentness...

Oni wat...skia susah nyaa karik kroja adin yoh?

Why is it so hard to get a job these days? How I feel oh so lucky & grateful to have been able to get mine (and still have it). Believe it or not, there are those who do not feel the same about the jobs they have. I'd just say, why don't you resign? Or even better, quit? Then let another person who's more appreciative fill that void. I actually know people on both ends of that spectrum...one who is fighting hard to get a job and another who could care less about work.

I think the wave of unemployment especially among graduates began when our country started the mass promotion of ICT based jobs. Then institutions of higher learning (both public and private) started to mass produce programmes to cater for this so called 'mass produced potential vacancies'. So suddenly in a year, Malaysia was churning our like tens of thousands of ICT graduates but actually with limited openings, and the number of graduates that come every after that causes the statistics of unemployed grads to increase exponentially. The consequence is that some earlier graduates would now have to fight over a vacancy with freshies every year making them Senior Unemployed Graduates. You know what I think? I think the governement should open a special department or better yet, a special ministry specifically for these people.

Yeah, they should call it the Ministry of Unemployed Malaysians (hahahaha...lets just call it MUM for short). I'm gonna assume that since I am probably the first to have had this idea, I should be the Minister holding this portfolio, right? Hahahaha, that'd be awesome! Ok, what should this Ministry be doing? Let me see...well, first and foremost we'd need to round-up a whole bunch of unemployed grads, just like herding cattle...then we put them in the Ministry building in Putrajaya. Of course we assign each person with positions according to the government salary scale that match their academic qualifications. We should give fancy designations, like for example - Unemployed Graduate Officer. Then relocate them to specific rooms, cubicles, chairs and tables...we provide them with the basic set of office equipment and stationaries and we set a clear set of things to do for an entire day at work. A day's work at MUM would be:

• 8.00 am : Punch in
• 8.10 am : Arrange the things on your desk. Must be perfectly neat and tidy.
• 8.30 am : Breakfast Break
• 9.30 am : Cancel our today's date off the calender. Scribble down the the list of things that you had for breakfast on a piece of A4 paper. File it.
• 10.00 am : Tea Break
• 11.00 am : Log into the internet & check e-mail. E-mail the list of things that you ate for tea break and e-mail them to everyone in the Ministry building. Open and read the e-mails sent to you.
• 12.00 pm : Lunch Break
• 2.30 pm : Photocopy the list of things you had for breakfast and then fax it to any other government department.
• 3.00 pm : Tea Break
• 4.00 pm : Open up all of last week's files and place them in your In Tray. Take all the photocapied documents and then shred it. Place a few pens, pencils, erasers, staplers, rulers, highlighters, markers and pieces of paper and put it on your desk.
• 5.00 pm: Go Home

This is done everyday, and I guarantee that productivity will be at the highest level, because everyone has something to do! So everyone is no longer jobless (wow, MUM just abolished unemployment in Malaysia..that'll sure make the headlines). Wait a minute, this scenario seems familiar...awww shucks...people ARE DOING THIS ALREADY.... Darn, that's one idea down the drain...hahahahahaha. But it's still be nice if I was a  minister for it, would I have to do the same things written above everyday too? I guess so.

Honestly, a person who realizes that their unemployed shouldn't be picky. You can't expect to have every type of job to exist in your own hometown and  you can no longer expect a standard salary for your qualifications. You expect a degree holder to put an expected salary of RM 2,000.00, then some other desperate duffuss is gonna place an expecteed salary of RM 1,750.00. Of course he'll (or she'll) get the job, and since he got the job, people are gonna ask him how much did he jot down as his expected salary. Of course he's gonna say, "RM 1,750.00". From then onwards, everyone's gonna put RM 1,750.00 as their expected salary which means the private sector is gonna have a field day picking employees in exchange for crackers (or peanuts, or keropok or whatever cheap junkfood you can think of)!

Later on as inflation looms, people are gonna complain that salary is too cheap! But they're the same ones that made it cheap in the first place. So now everyone's hoping to resign and apply for civil service coz the salary seems better and leave days are more. But when they get a government job, with the 'high' salary they get and the accessibility to so many 100% loans, they are in serious debt here and there, and they hope to get jobs that offer better salaries coz government salaries are fixed (increment and all) with no guarantee of bonuses.

And so the brutal circle of employment continues...oh..come to think of it, no wonder some people prefer to be unemployed. But I'm still hoping to be made Minister of MUM.