ONI WAT...

Oni wat sirita tih doik obuok tayang? Many many years ago, when I was still a phlemy kid (budak ingusan la...) there was this one television show that somehow brainwashed the minds of almost every boy in my primary school. I'm gonna need the help of my fellow friends and readers to help me re-trace the steps of this television show, coz to be honest, the storyline was the last thing on my mind when I watched it. Tapi dalam aku cuba mengelak untuk ambil tauk pasal storyline cerita tok...masih juak aku dapat ingat dengan samar-samar apa sedang dilalui hero ya. Cerita nok aku maksudkan adalah....jeng jeng jeng! Nangga video tok dulok...jelmakan semula zaman gembira kanak-kanak anda! Henshin!!! Suria...Perkasa...Hitam!!!!!! Persoalan Minda: Aku heran dengan nama hero tok versi Indon ya - Kesatria Baja Hitam. Apa sebenarnya maksud 'baja' ya? Macam ne nama Kamen Rider Black, boleh ter'translate' kepada Kesatria  Baja Hitam? 'Kesatria' dan 'hitam' ya ...

Oni wat doik bajet pakai nai toyak sawit odopku bih? Kebun otto bih... I was looking up Google Earth one day and realized, that there is a huge parcel of jungle at the back end of my kampung home! Wow! Then I thought to myself what it would be like if part of that was actually mine. Hehehehe...I can tell you, with a toyak that big, I could earn millions within less than 10 years (to be exact between 6 to 7 years)! Hey, it's true. If anyone out there has 10 hectares (or about 20 acres) of land at your disposal...man, I'm telling you - go plant it with oil palm. To me, it's the most concrete method of making good, hard-earned money as a Dayak these days, if you're not a child of an existing millionaire. The reason for this is based on the following logic: 1. Dayaks inheritively still have a high density of ownership, or have legal, or customary rights to land. 2. Dayaks lack the actual finances to start any other kind of big business venture (that c...

Oni wat ya kawin sejenis bih?  What's wrong with Barney???!! If you're like me (a guy), then it is NATURAL to fall in love with a woman and then marry her. Now I'm not against people who think they prefer other people who are of the same gender. But I'm just dumbfounded by the fact that Neil Patrick Harris, who plays Barney (or his Swedish cousin Bjorney..and also his doppleganger Dr. Spangle) in How I Met Your Mother is actually gay. Imagine that, the guy who plays the ultimate playboy is in fact the poster boy of same sex marriage? It took him just under 5 hours after New York City legalized gay marriages to declare his marriage to his long time fiance' - or is it fiancee? Now for the people who do (or do not) follow the sitcom, Barney has developed a cult-hero status for two things I guess: the Bro-Code (the bible for buddies..and wingmen) the fascination (or fetish) for women (usually hot ones...remember his story about girls and manateees?) Somehow, ...

Oni wat nyaa de muti bih? I was actually just browsing around the archives of the Borneo Post when I stumbled upon this particular news. I then thought that I should try and compile as much news articles relating to Bau as I can, just as a commemorative act. Who knows maybe it could stir some links with friends or people that I know of from my hometown. So this will be the start of many other chronicles that will highlight interesting things that happen in Bau town, my home town. Tapi cerita tok kira masuk kategori brutal juak la.

Oni wat oku nyokong Liverpool? Nya sik akan berjalan kedirik...sebab aku ada kat belakang amik gambar tok..hehe Hahahaha...aku saja maok nulis article tok untuk memaklumkan kepada semua orang apa sebab-sebab di sebalik minat aku terhadap LFC. Tok bukan article rebuttal atau atau gaduh-gaduh la...(tapi mun maok boleh juak nak..hahahaha)..tapi simply suatu article sharing (pergh...macam seminar la plak) tentang macam ney aku boleh terjebak meminati Liverpool. Aku mula-mula didedahkan kepada English Premier League masa aku agik darjah 4. Tapi masa ya sik la aku tauk ney team nok best atau sik best. Let me see..aku darjah 4 ialah tahun 1990 and that was the year Liverpool last won the trophy, but actually I was not aware of it coz the season that I was watching it was actually the 1990/91 season. So technically, I never really saw Liverpool became league champions. But since I was more or less a neutral observer at that time, I kinda liked Tottenham Hotspu...

Oni wat article tih skia lawak? Today I have found, what I think is one of the many funny (the word 'funny' here does not implicate a deliberate joke) articles that has ever graced the pages of the Borneo Post. In truth, this time it's on the front page. Which article am I talking about? It's this one: The aforementioned article...ignore the people in the pictures Now I am personally not a political radicalist or someone who's interested in active politics at all, but after reading this..I wonder of our own politician's are interested in politics as well. Note the following quote: “We also need to know how we must handle them (opposition) because it can become too political (in the DUN).” Hahahaha! Too political ?? What is that? And what is it even suppose to mean? This is politics we are talking about here and the place in mention is the DUN! If it's a mamak stall, yeah, you can probably say a conversation between friends can go out of hand and b...

Oni wat muran adin odi ke Malaysia? Dah bertahun-tahun berlalu, akhirnya Liverpool FC akan menjejakkan kaki di Malaysia. Aku ingat lagi angin-angin sidak ya maok datang 6 atau 7 tahun dulok, and masa ya aku agik kat Shah Alam. Pergh!!! Mun benar la sidak ya datang masa ya, dah ada muka aku kat Stadium Bukit Jalil. Tapi, gara-gara tok...  Nangga sapa nok sponsor jersi ya...iboh nangga Morientes jak.  Ya, disebabkan penajaan syarikat minuman beralkohol, maka team aku sik dapat main sitok (C****a!). Dan berserta dengan itu, satu-satunya harapan aku yang mungkin (harap sik lah) untuk nangga Liverpool secara LIVE terburei kedak ya jak. So tahun tok harapan majoriti peminat Liverpool (di Semenanjung Malaysia) akan termakbul dan betapa jelesnya aku memikirkannya, aaargh! Tauk sik, mun dah tiga minggu berturut-turut Malaysia akan menentang 3 gergasi bol England, yakni Arsenal, Liverpool & Chelsea...sapa agaknya akan sokong Malaysia? Hahahaha..sudah tentulah fans Mancheste...

Oni wat orud tih ponu tun duh?  Tebas! Tebas! Jangan tak tebas!!!  You must be wondering why on Earth did we try to manouvre a boat over grassland? Well, the problem is not that the boat is on land, it's actually coz the 'land' is invading the river! The lush greenery that you are seeing now is actually a river! This was I think one of the quirkiest field scenarios I've ever encountered in my career and it took place sometime in mid-2009 (dah lama dah...tapi coz nya interesting, aku post jak), it was actually suppose to be a riverine survey along the Karap River, a tributary of the Bakong & Baram River. Instead of actually surveying anything, all we did was try to get through all the vegetation. And here's the picture taken prior to the one above for to prove it! OMG!!!! What did we just get ourselves into... By the time we saw all those keladi-keladi buntings we already crying out, "Oh s**t!" and we were already regretting the trip was ...

Oni wat mesti ya ogik dilema de wat tih?  The amp I'm using now with my lovely Digitech Metal Master (Can't play without it, man!). Ignore the feet, it's just a scale to show you how small the amp actually is. A few months back I was determined to finally own a 'decent' guitar amp. What? Why would I need a guitar amp? Coz I dont' have one, that's why. Can you believe that? I've played guitar for so many years...and I don't even have an amp...hahaha. Yeah, there's a 10-watt Marshall that I play with at home..but that's not mine. It belong's to my bro-in-law. I use to own a 15-watt Laney, but that was when I was still in my uni days. Then I sold it to one of my guitar students who graduated playing the guitar (thankfully he graduated with his diploma too). So after so many years, but with so little significant reasons...I finally wanted to buy one. And after scourging the internet and guitar shops (showing my face in the shop, testing...

Oni wat skia susah ya monang bih? Last weekend I went to see the SOP ladies volleyball team play. Honestly, they were leagues better than the team that was sent last year. Hahahaha! They should have kicked some SY P*****d b**t on the first game. Tapi mun result tahun tok bagus gik dari tahun lepas, ok la nak...tapi mun dapat menang something, kan best gik? Team laki pun kira power la juak. At least sik la jadi budak belasahan gik. Eh, kita pernah jadi budak belasahan ka?  Tok gambar sebelum sidak ya sedar ada orang amik gambar.. Bila dah nangga ada orang amik gambar, pantang sik merik 'peace'. Serbu! Jangan sik serbuuuuu! "Fuahh!!" Ada keluar power!!! Tapi bukan main benar pun..agik warm up jak. Hati-hati dong...ada sosok-sosok misteri di sana! Waduh! Salah sorang super servers team wanita...banyak point nya dopat ooo. Tok pun salah sorang daripada geng super juak tok... Tok team laki plak warming up before first match. Jadi kepada semua war...

Oni maksud "oni wat..." bih? What does "oni wat..." actually mean? It's actually a typical Bidayuh phrase that's synonymous with the following phrases of other languages: Standard Malay:  Kenapa... or Mengapa...   Standard English: Why is it... Melayu Pasar:      Apsal... or Apo ko he... or Pasal ape... Town English:      What the h***... So notice that I use a Bidayuh sentence to start off each blog post and the blog itself is associated to the starting question or sentence. But nothing's perfect in the world so there's gonna be occasions that I do go off topic, but hey...like anybody's really expecting it.

Oni wat doik ponai ya kaya-kaya bih? In my study days, we used to have this topic called ETR (whoever knows the meaning of this course code would surely know where I used to study...hahahaha) that basically teaches keusahawanan or entrepreneurship. But somehow I felt that it should have been a class about how to make a Business Plan ( Rancangan Perniagaan or RP ) than it is about actual enterprising, since I spent the entire semester mostly trying to finish a business plan. Some of the businesses that my coursemates chose to open was a bakery, a restaurant, a photocopy shop, a laundry service and even a grocery store. Me? I opened up a jamming & demo recording studio and dare I say that I forecasted my business as 'highly profitable'. Now when think back at it, everything was just crap! An RP is like wishful thinkings and in lalaland , of course everything is wonderful, or in the case of an imaginary business - profitable! It was stressed that the biggest obstacl...

Oni wat...skia susah nyaa karik kroja adin yoh? Why is it so hard to get a job these days? How I feel oh so lucky & grateful to have been able to get mine (and still have it). Believe it or not, there are those who do not feel the same about the jobs they have. I'd just say, why don't you resign? Or even better, quit? Then let another person who's more appreciative fill that void. I actually know people on both ends of that spectrum...one who is fighting hard to get a job and another who could care less about work. I think the wave of unemployment especially among graduates began when our country started the mass promotion of ICT based jobs. Then institutions of higher learning (both public and private) started to mass produce programmes to cater for this so called 'mass produced potential vacancies'. So suddenly in a year, Malaysia was churning our like tens of thousands of ICT graduates but actually with limited openings, and the number of graduates that com...